My Saving Grace

The thing about a routine is that your brain becomes accustomed, making it go on auto-mode when going about the normal businesses of a day-to-day life. For me, this means extra brain space to think about stuff. Well this week, I was in a more contemplative mood, mainly cause the routine became more of a ‘rut’ine (Courtesy: Barney Stinson, HIMYM). Thus I composed this prayer / poem – emphasizing a need to be saved --- from the routine no-nothings of life and move onto bigger n better things.

Slumbering in an ignorant bliss,

Living has become just existing,

Free me from this endless abyss,

End the soul's restless lamenting.

Break the walls of my mind,

Stretch out the room of my heart,

Allow me to leave prejudice and ego behind,

Thus with a clean slate we can depart.

Out of this world so plastic,

To the places where You reside,

Show me Your creation, oh Grand Artist,

Paradise on earth as You designed.

Show me the different shades of earth;

The high mountains and low valleys,

Birds & beasts - creatures of various births,

and the cultures in each and every alley.

Flying away from the material space,

Seeing the universe as a spiritual whole,

I will feel Your warm love embrace

the body, the mind and the soul.

In awe of Your love so strong,

I will wonder lifelong,

If I ever can return the sentiment....

Nostalgia

Flying back into the past,
Standin where I was months before,
Regret slowly burns the soul.

A different way to end the story,
Turn back time, for that one last time
I will steal your breath away,
Hold you tight, rejoice that you were mine.

For the last time, take me back,
Let me look into those eyes,
and say, "I love you, you are mine...."
Alas ! Now I can never make you smile.

Flying back into the past,
Standin where I was months before,
I realize, a proper goodbye was never told.

Backseat Siesta

The lazy afternoon sun,

Blares through tightly shut eyelids.

The heat and cold, mix & beckon,

to sleep and rest, friends amid.

The long winding road just goes n goes,

Cruising smoothly, the van rocks us away.

Emerald like plants, peep into the windows,

Watching, as in peaceful siesta we stay.

Mellow tunes ooze off the radio,

Pulling her closer, rejoicing her scent,

In my love’s ear, I mutter a soft hello.

Holding each other, in dreamless sleep we ascent.

Nothing matters in this moment,

No past and no future, only the ride!

The screaming mind is finally silent,

Jus music, drive and my love beside.

In The End

Obsession, this is the disease I am plagued with. For the longest time ever - I ponder, wonder, analyze, think, over think, scrutinize the tiniest and the most insignificant events of my life, which normal people usually do not give much thought to.

Thus, can you please imagine my state, on the days Life is a downright crazy? Some nasty incidents I have been caught up in the last few days :-

• Approaching the end of a long, exhausting walk, Looking like a miserable beggar, with a bad hair day, in bro's old t-shirt and a god forsaken golden hair band.... I meet sum1. How unfair!!! Why did this not happen when I actually look kinda hot?
• Mom's out of town! Exams are over, and I so want to like just party! Oh wait, instructions have been given to my friends, I must reach home before 10! Seriously, the woman has me on a puppet string... jeez, and of course a yelling match with your friend, does not exactly help the situation. Stupid things are said and done.
• Texting / Calling - as soon as the text was sent, or the call answered, I immediately regretted it. That sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, or that feeling where the heart is being squished into pulp, that is embarrassment mixed with mortification mixed with OH KILL ME NOW!!

So here I am, feeling completely pathetic and all ready to rip the hair off my scalp, when I get some "Gyaan" !
Well here goes, Words of wisdom from those who have been there and done that:


---> Whats the worst that could happen?  
Analyzing the worst case scenario, seriously helps to reduce the obsessive hormones of the brain. True Story.


---> Jus Forget It Man  
Okay, so you have been stupid, well your human! Now it's time to forget about it and do some other stupid stuff.


---> Be Susegaad!
Well for those who have not seen Dum Maaro Dum (2011), this is the Goan word for living life in wistful state of peaceful apathy. Which loosely translated means careless indifference. [On an unrelated note, please do see Dum Maaro Dum, the movie is awesome!!]


So in summarization of what I am trying to convey :-

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn’t even matter

[Linkin Park - In The End]

An Awkward Encounter

In a sea of nameless faces,
A familiar smile I spot,
Reach the eyes, it did not.

Memories, which I erased,
Spin at lightning speed in the brain,
Some happy and some caused pain.

Time to engage in false charades,
Yet speech is scarce, awkward silence fills the void,
Engage in small talk and each other's gaze avoid.

Paranoia weakens the spirit,
Craving to relate, craving to connect,

Yet a simple hello, ends up in regret.

Feelings, some known and some unknown,
Like waves, they rise and ebb,
Been stuck, for so long in this complicated web.

Upon running away, I wonder if it will ever be okay?

This & that, that & this,

I change, change, change,

 yet nothing ever changes...

Testing My Patience!

The dreaded question paper sits in front of me, running my eyes ova the black and white print, I knw I can ace this. Child's play... Tick tok, Tick tok, screams the clock, but it does not intimidate, thus the mind wanders....

Top 5 Things 2 Do Whn Ur Exam is Super Boring & Deep Down U Knw Dat U Dont Really Care!

1) Solve World Problems :-  Whats the whole issue with World Hunger anyways man? Easily Solvable, Jus take the extra surplus food from the rich countries and give them to the poor countries. I mean, common America has the highest obesity rates anyways, they wont even know its gone!!

2) Go Back 2 School :- Remember that teacher who used to call it "Moaacks" instead of Mocks?? And "Mooadel Ejam" instead of Model Exam. Jus dont burst out laughing in the hall - ppl will look, and ppl will get angry, and the invigilator will give u da dirty looks - repeatedly, even after u stopped laughing.

3) Obbsess:- I draw mental maps of the Dubai Roads -- cause dude I seriously dont get them!! Other than that, I seriously obbsess about how the hell do people parallel park, I knw the technique, I have seen ppl doing it, the fundamentals are there but its the practical bit which screws me ova :(

4) Miss that Spl Sum1 :- this is my fav - thinking about that one guy or gal who brightens up ur whole day and puts a goofy grin on ur face! Ofcourse the general public wonder y u staring at the ceiling and assume ur in a drug induced haze....

5) Answer the Paper :- Ohhh man jus get over with it, so u can get out of this stupid room and be with dat special sum1 or be doing something infinetely cooler!